How Would YOU Do It ????

Keep it small and simple

I would run no more than 2 boats. Keeping the size to around the BELLE OF LOUISVILLE, this way you could pilot most all of the river locks. Then set the boats up to where they could be operated by no more than 5 crew members, aside from wait staff. Instead of limiting yourself to only 1 home port, keep mobile with several home ports. Also, not only running dat trips, set up for cinner cruises too. Most important run no more than 2 cruises a day, with special seasonal rins during fall and spring. I beleive this would be a way to keep and build a profitable boating company.

Ted, most of your points are well taken. One you omitted is boat managers and owners who depend on the boats for their livings must operate them. The reason Alan Bernstein's boats are well-run is that HE is on them most, if not all of the time. No ordinary corporation will do this.

I designed a shopping center one time. The president of the owning corporation and I discussed certain design aspects that he wanted cheapened. He did not care whether the roof leaked nor was he concerned about fire codes. He told me, "That building is like an envelope for a letter - when it is opened you read the letter and throw away the envelope." The instant that a corporation reads a drop in earnings, not necessarily a loss, they throw away the envelope.

With that brain dead viewpoint coming from the president of a corporation, I can see why so many big businesses are having trouble. I should hope this guy never runs an airline. Is he currently the CEO of Toyota? However, maybe he should be in politics where wasteful spending should be addressed.

My take, and I suspect there will be moans to be heard right now...

My "changes"...
Eliminate menu Breakfasts, Lunches and Dinners. And eliminate the infamous continental breakfast in the Forward Cabin lounge, Front Porch, etal...ALL should be buffets...the cookie plate is still a good thing...
Eliminate bed "redo" for the whole trip. Passengers should ask the purser any additional "soap, shampoo, and the like" each day that they feel is necessary if they should so need. Beds ARE NOT gonna be remade every day. Advertise it this way so there is no misunderstanding...
Eliminate the "come on board and we'll feed you cold cuts" buffet...
Eliminate the daily single page newspaper to each stateroom, a daily "what is happening..." page to be posted in the public spaces...
Eliminate nightly turn down and the Andes Candies...
Eliminate the nightly entertainment, but BEEF UP the lounge entertainment...
Beef up, make it a whole bunch more impressive, all rewards to past passengers, and INVITE ALL PASSENGERS to attend the ceremony, what a hell of an incentive...
Make it a BYOB boat, why not?
Become EXTREMELY FRIENDLY with AAA and/but ESPECIALLY AARP concerning advertisements.
Convert the boat to burn No. 2 fuel oil.
Make plans to convert the boat to No. 2 fuel oil powering generators, generators that power the paddlewheel and EVERYTHING else... Yeah, I get it...steam is cool, but it's also less efficient, make steam for the calliope and whistle only...
Provide a SERIOUS 'weight reduction' program on all boats. Call me, I think I may be able to help you through this... Provide a serious 'reduce drag' through the water program...
As Dale says, "what do I know..."

And one more thing, make it a HUGE reward to repeat. I've always said that repeaters are the BEST advertisement. Reward to get a newbee to take a cruise, reward for a really cool milestone like 25 trips, reward to book multiple staterooms on the same cruise. Yes, it's silly but the repeater PSSOA pins were cool...did Deb and I book to get a new pin? Yes, that was one of the reasons we rebooked...

Reward, reward, reward! Can be something as simple as free wine...

Torchs and Pitchfolks on speical discount. Maps to Bruno's house with each purchase. Please leave Deb out of this. The poor taste that beautiful and intelligent women show in men is the only way guys like he and I ever get a date. It can't possible be our warm personalities.

Bruno: I agree with all your ideas but then I never rode the DQ. I did ride the AQ and the MISS Q though. It astonished me that folks flocked to the entertainment (well, we paid for it, we might as well see it). We would drag up some rockers and sit the night away on deck! With all due respect to the banjo player (and I LIKE banjo music) it cannot compete with the river on deck unless it sluices the decks with rain and or heat/cold. Dunno bout that byob thing...may hafta put the Texas Lounge flag at half mast! Some say that half the boat's revenue came from there! Cap'n Walnut.

Tom Schiffer;20195 wrote: Bruno: I agree with all your ideas but then I never rode the DQ. I did ride the AQ and the MISS Q though. It astonished me that folks flocked to the entertainment (well, we paid for it, we might as well see it). We would drag up some rockers and sit the night away on deck! With all due respect to the banjo player (and I LIKE banjo music) it cannot compete with the river on deck unless it sluices the decks with rain and or heat/cold. Dunno bout that byob thing...may hafta put the Texas Lounge flag at half mast! Some say that half the boat's revenue came from there! Cap'n Walnut.

OUCH! Well, Cap, maybe the beauty of steamboatin' is there's no pressure to do everything, or even ANYTHING but look at the river. However, there is something for everyone. Frankly, many was the night I wish I were out on deck instead of working, so I sympathize.

The best, and only, video I have of my show in the main room on the MQ was taken by a guy who told me his dad couldn't make the trip but still wanted to see the entertainment. So he taped everything, in both venues - even the sing-a-long.

Are you telling me that dad was probably on board and sitting somewhere on deck in a rocking chair??? :O)

(note smiley face)

Let's see now....where is my career? It was around here somewhere..ummm

Geeze, did I say something that offended :-)? Wasn't my intent at all.

One of the best parts of our cruises were the various banjo players, the ragtime, the Sinatra, the themed Texas Lounge/Engine Room bar/Captains Bar/Antlers Bar/Paddlewheel Lounge entertainment, which I'm recommending to remain, actually to be increased. It is the elegant, formal and very nicely done shows in the 'main' rooms that I'm talking about be reduced. And I gotta clarify, if the boats were profitable, this is a part of the experience I would not recommend be eliminated. Some very fond memories of the Orleans and Grand Saloon shows, but what's a balance sheet to do?

The same thing with the BYOB policy that I recommended...I truly enjoyed, actually enjoyed too much, the various bars on the three boats, and that enjoyment was enhanced greatly by the bar staff, but again tough choices may have to be made.

Steam? There is a reason few use steam. I've had this steam/no steam conversation seems like forever, but I'm being realistic here...if the boats could save $$ by being pushed by Mercury Verados, it could be a way to go...Even Mechanical Engineers with steam in their veins can't deny cost versus benefit...

But the question still remains, how would you do it? And when times are tough, I'm thinking my ideas may cut down on the daily cost a bunch...

First things first: men do not have a CLUE what women find attractive. 'Nuf said.
Many people really LOVE the entertainment, but that is a boat-by-boat thing, I've found, too--and there is a great loyalty to the folks who have entertained on our boats for years. One problem on the DQ is that the Texas Lounge may not hold everyone who might want to hear the music, especially if you've eliminated the after-dinner show. Maybe do shows on selected nights, such as specialty shows (Dave and Cathy, Bobby Horton, a big show featuring the entertainment folks), with nightly lounge shows. And bring back another horn player! (How can you play Dixieland with no trumpet?!).
I'm mainly thinking DQ here, as there are severe venue limitations on the boat. And as much as I love the entertainers themselves--I'm out there on the deck myself, or in the engine room or pilothouse! Sorry Paul! ;0)

PS Bruno--generally, in most venues where booze is sold, it is a big revenue-maker. I think it was on the boats, too.
As for the steam engine on MY boat, I will fight you on that one. You can put #2 on to fuel her, but don't be messing with my engine. Hear me?

Aw, Paul: You KNOW I din't mean nuthin' personal. You have a standing invitation to play the banjo on either of my two steamers any time at all...and, Mary do the 'lorian thingy...Travis the one-whistle caliope. While we've never before done it, Bruno can byob to the Likker Lounge on the poop deck of MISSIE II (ask Kenny 'bout the seat in the poop deck...he'll likely tell you it was pretty dry when he wuz there!). Cap'n Walnut

Cap--if it weren't so dang cold today, I'd be out there in a couple of hours myself, maybe even with a bottle of some kind to keep us thawed! But it's so awful, you'd have to chip off the poop deck today.

I'm a firm believer and lover of stem myself having spent most of my life around it, but if cost is what one is worried about, what about this: run the wheel with a hydraulic or chain-drive system (or even something like they have on the JONATHAN PADELFORD) and have a small (is the term donkey boiler??) boiler to provide steam for the whistle and calliope? The SPIRIT OF PEORIA is still a true paddlewheeler, and all the people who rode her last year (die-hard DQ fans, I should say) loved her. We still got to watch the wheel turn and push the boat, but it would have been nice to see some steam comin out of the calliope and whistle. What about something like that?

Matt, my point exactly...Steam, entropy, enthalpy, superheat, condensate, deaerator, feedwater arrr, arrr, ARRR, love steam...

But here is the thing, if the AQ was running profitably this minute would we ride her? And please lets not argue about if she is a steamboat, I know she is but I hope everybody understands my point here. If the CQ was running, sans paddlewheel, would we ride her? You betcha, both of them in a New York minute. Would we ride the River Explorer complete with Mr Wally?

Love steam, loved everything about the DQ, I truly did, couldn't get enough of her and her bigger sisters. But, I really liked the Spirit, too...

So maybe is it time for Steamboat Lite?

Steam Beer

Bruno-- What a fantastic idea!! If we can't have a steamboat- then how about a steam beer? San Francisco's Anchor Brewing makes their famous Steam Beer that would quench any steamboat nut's thirst.

Anchor Steam - Anchor Steam Beer

Mary Sward Charlton;20199 wrote: (How can you play Dixieland with no trumpet?!).

You can't. Must have plumbing with valves.

Bruno Krause;20198 wrote: Geeze, did I say something that offended :-)?

No way, B. We just funnin' here. All the entertainers know there are few out there who appreciate and support the court jesters as well as you do, buddy.

Paul

Anchor Steam? Was one the offered models from the DQ cooler, for a year or two, I'm thinking 2003.

Rates a 83 on the hops-o-meter....nice finish with touches of pear and cedar, he says with tongue firmly planted in cheek 🙂

the mississippi queen

i would buy the mississippi queen at a much cheper price and fix it up state with that then go for the orther boats u see u can buy her much cheper and fix her right now then it would cost u to buy the orther boats .

Aw, Mary! It ain't all that cold. But, the river's right smart tore-up...lotta water out there tryin' to figger out which way to go an a lot of it a-runnin' 'round in circles! Only folks out on it here about 'sides the tow-boaters, are the duck 'an goose hunters...and we KNOW how crazy they are...more worser than steamboaters even. But the legislators is after them too, and when they gits them, there'll be even more goose poop to wade through...along with the BS that goes along with the the need for such legislation. But then we're a-gittin kinda usta that lately...but I never did develop a taste for it! Cap'n Walnut.

As to Matt's idea of steam for a calliope and whistle - did not the GENERAL JACKSON start out that way with a small boiler for its whistle? If so, what happened as I don't think it is used now.

also, where did the calliope come from?

AMEN!!!!! No steam, no me!! Steam is not that unprofitable--it's just not normal today. Might I point out that the engines on the DQ are the Original engines (well, except the parts taken from the King--but they are of the same vintage). Look at the miles that have been put on them. You show me ONE infernal combustion engine that can have that durability record! Now as far as the boilers, as much I want "original fabric" the DQ might be better off with more modern units, burning a more common fuel--but the ones that change that out better not cut corners--the reason the current boilers are still there is that they were way overbuilt for the use they finally were put to. (yoicks, that's bad grammar!) While they're in there, add some more fire protection, might make the Coast Guard happier.
I've kept pretty quiet here, because I have NO $$, so it doesn't really matter how I would do it. . . BUT, I think we are all missing the boat (pun intended) by not considering going after the Chinese tourist--right now they're the only wealthy ones around! I think they would flock for the uniqueness of riding an old American Steamboat, eating Southern cookin', listening to American Dixieland/ragtime, etc. music, and seeing the center of America. One way to get this going is to send some Mark Twain books translated so we can hook 'em!

Steam problems

David Dewey;20217 wrote: AMEN!!!!! No steam, no me!! Steam is not that unprofitable--it's just not normal today.

David, there are profitability and crewing problems with steam today, whether we like it or not. Capt. Dennis Trone made a most painful decision in 1995 when he had to sell one of his boats, either the diesel TWILIGHT or the steam powered sternwheeler JULIA BELLE SWAIN. He chose to sell the JBS. While the engineering crew needed for that small steamer was not burdensome, consider a bigger boat like the NATCHEZ: not only do we have a Chief Engineer, but also an oiler and fireman to pay every cruise. With diesel, you've saved a lot on salaries right there. In addition, steam licensed engineers are getting fewer and farther between today, so even if you can afford to pay, you've got a crewing quandry at times. So while the durability of steam machinery may be better in the long run, in the short term you've got economic considerations in steam vs. diesel. And sadly, while we care about steam, 99.9% of the NATCHEZ passengers could care less how she is powered, just so she makes the promised harbor trip.